The Ten 5k Challenge, Race #9 Recap (Syracuse Festival of Races)

I never wrote a race recap for race #8, the CNY Lungetivity 5k I ran two weeks ago, because the course was identical to the 5k ARC race I ran the week prior. It was a small group, 90 runners, and I ran it slower than I did the ARC race but managed to win a trophy for finishing 9th overall and 2nd in my age group.

That leads me to today's ninth 5k of 2010, the Syracuse Festival of Races.

So I got to the race this morning about 45 minutes before start time. The Festival of Races 5k is held just off of the Syracuse University campus; the start and finish lines are in front of Manley Field House which is where most of the team's non-Carrier Dome athletics are played. And what I noticed when I got out of my car was that it was COLD. About 45 degrees, to be precise. I am wearing just a tech tee and shorts and a baseball cap. My arms are cold and my hands are numb. Luckily the shirt they gave out to the runners was a long sleeved tech shirt, so I layer up and basically hop around until race time. This gets it done and it starts to warm up as the 9 AM gun time approaches. At about 8:55 I pop over to my car and ditch the hat and long sleeve tee as it had warmed up. And then it's GO TIME.

The course is basically a single hill at the start, followed by a mile and a half or so of suburban roads out, and then back again. A couple of things made this run different. First, in addition to a one mile split they had people calling out the splits at 1K, 2K, 3K, and 4k. Now I normally track my running in miles so I'm doing math in my head. Another difference is a chip time at 2.5K, basically a gate to run through halfway. Just something different.

At the 1K mark I'm clocked in at a cool 4:30. This is a decent pace for me, I figure at this pace I'm done in 22:30 and even if I slow down a bit I may break 23 minutes. My 1 mile split was a 7:05 which is about as fast as I've run them during the week. The sun is shining and I've got lots of elbow room... as this is a USATF sanctioned event I started in the back third and basically kept my place for the duration. At the 2K split I'm just over 9 minutes, so I'm still feeling good. I hit the turn, get to 3K at 13:35 or so. Still close to that 22:30-23 minute pace. Now is when I ease up just a smidge, as I'm starting to feel the gas. It's all flat here, and one or two runners pass me and I pass one or two others here and there, but I hit the 4K mark at a slower 18 minutes and 30 seconds.

Now I realize that if I want to set a PR I have to turn the jets back on. I get to the hill that started the race and someone calls out that I'm 400m from the finish. Just at this point the course veers and goes downhill and I find a little bit of a burst. I can see the clock and I know I've busted my PR by a nice margin, and I cruise in for a gun time of 23:12. I spent half the day wondering what my chip time was, as they weren't posting it anytime right after the race, but I knew I was several seconds behind the front group. Turns out I had a chip time of exactly 23 minutes.

But perhaps the best part of the event for me was watching a certain runner near the end of the finishers... there was someone working the PA system calling out bib numbers and names for the finishers as they crossed, and they announced it for all to see. Henry Sypniewski, trucking down the home stretch at around the 41 minute mark, wearing bib #92. Age 92. Set a USATF record for the fastest 5k ever run by a man at that age with a gun time of 41 minutes flat. I got choked up, I will admit it. This guy got some well-deserved cheers out there today.

No 5k races on the docket that I am pre-registered for. I am sure to run at least one more in 2010 as it was my resolution to do ten of them this year. There are a few races here and there between now and Thanksgiving, though I already have my eye on a "Turkey Trot" 5k on Thanksgiving morning.

An Open Letter to my Neighbor

Dear Sir,

I know, you love your dog. That's nice. While I will profess to being a "cat person," and all that this entails, I feel a compulsive need to point out to you as I see you walking your beloved canine in my neighborhood, that your dog doesn't need a sweater.

It really doesn't.

I don't know if you're aware of this, or understand the adaptive nature of mammalian evolution, but your dog was born with a coat of fur designed for this very task. Keeping your pet warm in colder weather, that is.

So, having said that, putting a sweater on your dog is akin to putting a feathered boa on a parakeet.

I'd like to believe the best about you, and your motivations, and what you do on your own time and in your own private life. Unfortunately for you, I have to assume that your real intent of putting a sweater on your dog is that you can have a romantic moment later, when you slowly and cinematically undress your dog in an homage to the wedding night scene with Al Pacino and his Sicilian wife in the first "Godfather" movie.

The Ten 5k Challenge, Race #7 Recap: ARC Race

Yesterday was my 7th 5k of 2010. This is the ARC race, the 16th annual and one of the larger 5k races in the area in terms of participation. ARC is a local charity in support of people with developmental disabilities, and they draw a good crowd. Last year's results told me two things: one, that they would draw more than 500 people, and two, that I could finish near the front of the pack based on the course and my recent race times. I went in confident.

The weather was pristine -- sunny and warm but not hot. We had several rainy, cruddy days leading up race day and the forecast is calling for several more in the upcoming days, so this was a window of niceness in the middle of it. The course is run across two local parks that are just 5 minutes from my home -- it starts in one park, crosses a single-lane bridge that is at the crest of a decent sized hill, and then runs to another park for about a mile and a half and then back again. So we hit the bridge/hill twice, once a minute in and once near the end. The majority of this run, the entire second park, is flat and fast. I know every turn and bend of it, too, as this is where I run much of the time.

I got to the park only to realize that I had forgotten my wrist watch. I considered driving home for it but I thought parking was only going to get hairier, so I decide to just run based on feel and not worry about my splits.

There's no chip reader at the starting line, and so I realize that there will only be gun times. Knowing that I should be in the top 20% of finishers, I make my way towards the front and start about 5 rows deep. And we're off!

I hit the bridge and hill at a good clip and find a steady rhythm. No pains or even nagging injuries to bother me and it's smooth sailing. There's a water stop at about the .8 mile mark, I don't even try to drink them anymore. I dump 100% of it on my head and keep on going. I hit the turn and feel like I'm going at a steady pace.

About 10 seconds after I hit the turn, and I'm headed back towards the finish, I see my nemesis! The guy who caught me at the Beaver Lake 5k and again at the Inner Harbor 5k, and he's close enough that he could catch me with a late burst. From here on in, every time someone gets close to passing me I turn around expecting to see him. At about the 2.5 mile mark I ease up a bit, I'm a little gassed and I am trying to save something for the bridge/hill at the end. When I hit it I am able to shoot past a couple of runners. A summer of running hills in the heat and I've noticed that I tend to hit the hills better than some of the more casual runners I am running against.

The finish line is through the parking lot, I hit the home stretch and I can see that the clock is just turned past 23 minutes. I know that I'm on a good pace, close to what I ran two weeks ago. I push with what I have left and cross at 23:37 gun time. My frienemy, whom I saw last at the turn, never caught me. I wait and see that he crossed a full 75 seconds later. I say hello to him and find out that he pulled his hamstring after the turn and eased up for the last half of the race. Still, it's good to see him and his friend, now I've seen these guys at the last three races.

I finished 68th out of 592 runners, and fifth out of 21 in my M35-39 age bracket. Not fast enough to win a medal, but still quite proud of myself. It's my fastest race time ever and also, percentage wise, my best finish of the year. Next race is this coming Sunday, at the same park. Not sure how much overlap between that race and the one I just ran, but hopefully the weather and results repeat themselves.

The Ten 5k Challenge, Race #6 Recap: Inner Harbor 5k

One week ago I ran the second annual "Inner Harbor 5k" in downtown Syracuse, to benefit some charity I never heard of before. Whatever... I pick them for the dates (preferring Sunday morning events) and proximity to my house. Well, it's evident when I drive downtown that they don't have a good handle on this thing. They identified the area where the race is but not where to park, and when I arrive 45 minutes before the race starts (and 15 minutes before the race-day registration and packet pick-up ends), a smarmy cop tells me that I'm running late and reluctantly lets me park near the race start. Whatever, officer. Get out of my grill.

The packet pick up is a mess - they've mis-allocated the dispensing of free shirts, and all that are left are XL sizes. It's a nice shirt, too, a tech shirt, of which I only have one other. Right when I get there they start dipping into the shirts that they were SUPPOSED to give out the day prior at pre-race packet pickup, except they weren't ready at that point either. I luck into a size L, a little long for me but wearable (and nice).

Then, they have signs pointing to the start area, except they point in two different directions. Sloppy. I run into the two guys I spoke to at the Beaver Lake 5k two weeks prior, both age 51 (according to their bibs) and including the guy who caught me and passed me at the finish line at that race. It's nice to have someone to gab with pre-race as the wife and kids are home in their pajamas.

Weather is great, sunny, a little warm but not stifling. And we're off!

Running through the streets of downtown Syracuse, I notice that some of the streets are in need of patchwork and there are some small to medium sized potholes. I manage to avoid injury (I found out later that two runners fell and hurt themselves in potholes) and the crowd thins out. I'm running at a good pace, mostly shade in the first mile, and the one graybeard who I was talking to I pass at about the quarter mile mark. My calf still is tight but it's not really affecting my stride or speed. It's just there.

No markers at either the first or second mile. So I have no clue where my pace is. The first half of the race is mostly on shaded streets and it's cool and comfortable. Then, about 12-13 minutes in, that ends and it's all sunshine. It feels good but I am heating up. A single water stop at about the 15 minute mark, and it's not particularly cool water. Blecch.

Finally, at mile 3 they have a sign and I see from my watch that I'm about 22:45 in. Which is solid, I'm just off my personal race best of 23:39 from Reston, VA on July 4th. I find a little juice and start to kick, and it's a straight shot from the 3 mile sign to the finish. Then I hear footsteps, and I know it's the same guy who caught me at Beaver Lake. He's going to pass me again, the bastard! I try and kick but he's gaining on me, and catches me.

I tell him, fairly winded, "Oh, you're going to do this to me again!" He smiles and eases up just a bit and we cross at identical times, 23:40. We finished 41st and 42nd out of 225 runners, and I finished 7th out of 26 men in the 30-39 age bracket. One second off of my personal best race time and I'm happy with it. I say farewell to my two new race friends (the other guy finished around 26:15 or so) and head home.

I was very happy with my showing, the course was nice and I would run it again. They had so many issues that the race organizer sent an email out the following Monday apologizing for all that went wrong, most of which pertained to the kids' fun run at 8:30. They've got 12 months to fix it for next year.

Next race is this upcoming Saturday, the annual 5k Arc race. Last year close to 600 people ran it, I do enjoy a big crowd like that.Congrats on your long run MF! Good for you.

I never wrote my race report for 5k #6.

So this was the second annual "Inner Harbor 5k" in downtown Syracuse, to benefit some charity I never heard of before. Whatever... I pick them for the dates (preferring Sunday morning events) and proximity to my house. Well, it's evident when I drive downtown that they don't have a good handle on this thing. They identified the area where the race is but not where to park, and when I arrive 45 minutes before the race starts (and 15 minutes before the race-day registration and packet pick-up ends), a smarmy cop tells me that I'm running late and reluctantly lets me park near the race start. Whatever, officer. Get out of my grill.

The packet pick up is a mess - they've mis-allocated the dispensing of free shirts, and all that are left are XL sizes. It's a nice shirt, too, a tech shirt, of which I only have one other. Right when I get there they start dipping into the shirts that they were SUPPOSED to give out the day prior at pre-race packet pickup, except they weren't ready at that point either. I luck into a size L, a little long for me but wearable (and nice).

Then, they have signs pointing to the start area, except they point in two different directions. Sloppy. I run into the two guys I spoke to at the Beaver Lake 5k two weeks prior, both age 51 (according to their bibs) and including the guy who caught me and passed me at the finish line at that race. It's nice to have someone to gab with pre-race as Fwife and Fkids are home in their pajamas.

Weather is great, sunny, a little warm but not stifling. And we're off!

Running through the streets of downtown Syracuse, I notice that some of the streets are in need of patchwork and there are some small to medium sized potholes. I manage to avoid injury and the crowd thins out. I'm running at a good pace, mostly shade in the first mile, and the one graybeard who I was talking to I pass at about the quarter mile mark. My calf still is tight but it's not really affecting my stride or speed. It's just there.

No markers at either the first or second mile. So I have no clue where my pace is. The first half of the race is mostly on shaded streets and it's cool and comfortable. Then, about 12-13 minutes in, that ends and it's all sunshine. It feels good but I am heating up. A single water stop at about the 15 minute mark, and it's not particularly cool water. Blecch.

Finally, at mile 3 they have a sign and I see from my watch that I'm about 22:40 in. Which is solid, I'm just off my personal race best of 23:39 from Reston, VA on July 4th. I find a little juice and start to kick, and it's a straight shot from the 3 mile sign to the finish. Then I hear footsteps, and I know it's the same guy who caught me at Beaver Lake. He's going to pass me again, the bastard! I try and kick but he's gaining on me, and catches me.

I tell him, fairly winded, "Oh, you're going to do this to me again!" He smiles and eases up just a bit and we cross at identical times, 23:40. We finished 41st and 42nd out of 225 runners, and I finished 7th out of 26 men in the 30-39 age bracket. One second off of my personal best race time and I'm happy with it. I say farewell to my two new race friends (the other guy finished around 26:15 or so) and head home.

I was very happy with my showing, the course was nice and I would run it again. They had so many issues that the race organizer sent an email out the following Monday apologizing for all that went wrong, most of which pertained to the kids' fun run at 8:30. They've got 12 months to fix it for next year.

Next race is this upcoming Saturday, the annual 5k Arc race. Last year close to 600 people ran it, I do enjoy a big crowd like that.

My Thoughts on the Custodial Arts

I should spend more time being thankful (to whomever) for the position I have reached in my life. I am fortunate enough to be paid to use my brain for a living. I work with computers, so I spend the majority of my time sitting at a desk, typing. It's really the job I was meant to have; even as a high school student I spent my summers doing data entry while my brother and my friends washed dishes and mowed lawns. Not to discount that, it's fine for a great many people. Just not me.

Where I work, like where most people work (hopefully), there are janitors. They are an odd lot, especially in my current place of employment. There's one bald janitor with a perpetual goofy smile on his face. He re-enacts this conversation approximately 350 times per day.

Worker: "Hey, Robert, how are you?"
Janitor: "I'm getting there! Not sure where there is though!"

This joke repeats itself like the Zapruder film scene from the movie "JFK." Again and again, all day. I only say hello to Robert. I refuse to ask him how he's doing and participate in his little yuk-fest.

There was another bald janitor here who had a bicycle decorated as a shrine to the late Thurman Munson, complete with photos, statistics, and even a little statue of him. This guy was constantly muttering to himself. He no longer works here, I suspect that he is crying somewhere in an Ohio cornfield.

My theory was that the two bald janitors were cyborg creations of one of the researchers here, a bald fellow himself who I was told studies artificial intelligence. He keeps trying to clone himself, my theory supposes, but got one clone too happy, another too surly, and so on. I'm looking forward to the sneezy and bashful bald janitor clones.

Then there's another janitor who reminds me of Shrek. He keeps giving me the prison yard love stare. I can't help but feel like he's looking at me in an attempt to magically transform my life into his and his into mine, like that movie with Jodie Foster and her mom from the 1970s (which sucked) or the movie with Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore from the 1980s (which also sucked). So far his efforts to go all "switcheroo" on me have failed. AHA!

Not sure where I'm going with this, really. Pick up your own trash, give these guys a break, or they'll haul you off to their basement and put you in a bell jar.

The Ten 5k Challenge, Race #5 Recap (Beaver Lake Run)

This past Sunday I ran the 10th annual Upstate Chiropractic Beaver Lake 5k Run.

Beaver Lake Nature Center is a beautiful state park about 20 minutes west of where I live. Our family goes there every year the weekend after Labor Day for their Annual "Golden Harvest" Festival. They have a lot of smaller trails around this lake that are nice for nature walks. This race was once around a 3 mile loop that encircles the entire lake, with a little bit of extra distance tacked on at the beginning to make it a 5k.

I looked at last year's times and noticed that the winner of this 5k last year finished in just under 18 minutes. This is about two minutes slower than most of the other races I've run, and so I expected my finish time to be a bit slower than my practice runs.

The weather was overcast, a little muggy but mostly a nice day for running. I felt good going in, my back was still a bit tight but nothing serious.

After the race started the runners spread out into a thin line. There were about 120 runners, or so I estimated, and I fairly early on found my pace. I thought maybe I ran a little hard out of the box as I got tired early, like 6-7 minutes in, and dialed it back a bit.

I passed a few people in the first mile and then found myself alone in the woods, running, like Rudy from the movie "Meatballs." It was nice, actually. The trails were narrow and soft and often broken up by wooden plank-style boardwalks through the swampier parts of the trail.

No water breaks and no mile markers made it tough for me to know how I was doing, so I tried just to keep a steady pace. By the 20-22 minute mark I was getting caught and passed by a runner or two. I did my best to not let it affect my pace, but by the 22 minute mark or so I was gassed.

I hit the home stretch and saw that I was just crossing the 25 minute mark, as I could see the timers' clock from the clearing once I hit the end of the trail. I got caught by one last runner, an older gent with grayish hair, before crossing the finish line at 25:20. I finished 32nd out of 115 runners. My slowest race time of the year, two seconds slower than my first 5k in April.

Many of the other folks were saying the same thing after the race, that they were 1-2 minutes off their usual running pace. I suspect that the race is longer than 5k as I run that exact distance enough to know when I'm extending beyond it. Plus, the soft trails don't give you that same spring that pavement does. Anyway, it was a fun race and I'm looking forward to my next one, a week from Sunday, as it's a return to downtown Syracuse and good old street racing.

The Ten 5k Challenge, Race #4 Recap (Midsummer Night's Dream Run)

The Ten 5k Challenge, Race #4 Recap (Midsummer Night's Dream Run)

My New Year's Resolution for 2010 was to lose ten pounds and run ten 5k races. So far I'm down 8 lbs from my January 1 weight, and last night I completed the fourth 5k race of the year. I am registered already for races 5-7 which take place over the next several weeks, and I'm still eyeballing those last few races.

So, yesterday's race was unique for me for a couple of reasons. First, it's likely to be the only race of the year that I run on a weeknight, as the other ones have all been Saturday or Sunday morning affairs. Also, this race was divided up so that the first race was all high school kids, and then the adult men and women each ran separately. So I was running exclusively against other adult men, also new for me. Lastly, this was my first ever cross country race. I have been training mostly on paved roads. There are some dirt trails that I run on at Onondaga Lake Park but they are fairly well worn.

This was real off-road racing though! Running through grassy fields, up and down some serious hills, across bare dirt, and all kinds of new terrain. I found it challenging and fun.

The course was laid out at Long Branch Park, another state facility just down the road from my home. The organizers had laid out a 2.5k loop around the perimeter of the park that was essentially run twice, with some minor variations for the start and finish lines. A single water station was set up near the halfway point.

I hit the first mile split at 7:45, not my best pace but considering the terrain, I was happy with it. The killer feature of this course was a really big hill, just after the 1 mile mark. This beast was at a near 45 degree angle and probably about 60 feet high. The first time I hit it at a pretty good clip, made my way own the other side and on through the forest.

The weather was really nice... overcast, a little breeze and the occasional sprinkle of rain to cool me off.

Hit the halfway point at about 12:10. Again, I was hoping to finish under 25 minutes given the nature of the run. I found that running over soft ground, on trails, and the gravelly roads was putting a bit more pressure on my feet and ankles. Not enough to hurt, but enough for me to notice the difference from my usual runs.

This was an elite group of runners, compared to the other races I've run this year. The first three races of 2010 I've managed to finish in the top 20-25% of the field. But looking at this race's 2009 results I could see I'd be near the back of the pack. No bother -- I am running my own race. I very quickly fell behind the larger pack of runners in the first quarter mile.

Hitting that hill the second time, at about the 2.5 mile mark, really beat me down. I scaled it in a near trudge. From there though I was able to keep a good (for me) pace and even kick at the end a bit. I ran a 24:33, slower than I did in races 2 and 3 but still comparative to what I've been doing on my practice runs in the extreme heat we've had this year. I earned a nice orange tee shirt for my efforts and I feel great today. No lingering effects from running cross country.

I always feel like Rudy from the movie "Meatballs" when I'm running through the woods.

Race number 5, assuming I don't enter another one in between now and then, is another cross country run, this time at Beaver Lake in Baldwinsville. That's a full loop around the lake at a park that my family and I have visited many times. I'm looking forward to it.

UPDATE: Official results clocked me at 24:32, and in 29th place of 36 runners.

The Ten 5k Challenge, Race #3 Recap (Reston, VA)

I decided to run a 5k far from home, as we had made family plans to visit my cousin in Virginia for the July 4th holiday weekend. There was one nearby, the inaugural Firecracker 5k in Reston, Virginia, which I registered for online.

It was quite the race!

I got up early, got my packet and got my chip all tethered to my shoelaces nice and early. Was ready to go a good 50 or so minutes before the 8 AM start. We were racing in a nice little neighborhood of condos and bars/restaurants. Basically we started in the middle of it, ran a loop around the outside of it and then finished near where we started.

Somehow, due to the increasing heat and the one-way nature of the loop, it seemed as though 90% of the run was uphill. Much of the middle 2 miles or so was also in the direct sun and it was warming up out there by the minute. Good crowd, over 500 names pre-registered and more showing up. They announced it as over 800 runners though ultimately only 675 finish times were posted.

The mile markers were not in the correct locations, as far as I could tell. I broke into a nice sprint out of the box and even though I was running uphill in the sun, I felt like I was setting a decent pace. That first mile marker just kept not showing up, the fuck! Finally I hit what they are calling one mile at 8:02. I think, "That can't be right." And as I think it, someone else says it out loud and another guy goes "that's long." So I assume they've staked out the marker incorrectly, this being the inaugural 5k on this course.

I keep huffing it uphill, around and around the loop. A nice quiet run with 700 people I don't know. No physical problems, a tiny twinge in my right knee but nothing that affects my pace. I hit the second mile marker at 14:50! Now, that's 21 seconds faster than my fastest ever split, and I deduce that once again they've messed up the mile markers. Ah well, just run your race I tell myself. I hit the water station, one cup to the head/back and I don't break stride.

At some point a kid, maybe 14, asks me what my pace is. "Usually about 7:30-7:40" I pant to him. He gives me a "Really?" and then, of course, dusts me. I can't help but laugh, and I remark to a woman my age how much I love getting whipped by these kids. "I know," she replies, "I've been trailing him the entire race." This is funny to me.

Finally, as I keep winding up the corkscrew, I hit the third mile marker at a total time of 22:30. Now I'm happy, this lines up with how fast I feel like I've ran and what I have left. The last .1 is, of course, a run uphill and around a bend. I keep my pace but don't have enough to sprint the finish... I'm giving it all just to keep the pace. Gun time of 23:49, and chip time (and my watch time) of 23:39. I finished 94th out of 317 men, 21st out of 55 men age 35-39, and 124th overall out of 675 runners. Very happy with my performance... again, I beat my last race time by a substantial margin and made a good showing. The shirts they gave away are very nice, like that cool running mesh type instead of just a cotton tee.

Followed this up with a trip to DC to watch the Mets whip the Nationals, soak up more sun, have beer and burgers and good times all around. A super day.

Next race is in July 28th in Liverpool. A weeknight 5k race, should be an interesting day.

Public Apology

I'd like to publicly apologize on behalf of my two year old daughter, to the older woman we often see eating alone at Wegman's on Friday nights, who looks like she's wearing a wig that sits too high on her head.

I'm not sure if you heard her say it, but if you did, I am sorry that my child said that you have "a critter on your head" and that you were the "critter lady."

That is all.

The Ten 5k Challenge - Race #2 Recap

I made a New Year's Resolution to run ten 5k races in 2010. Here is a recap that I wrote this past Sunday, for the Father's Day 5k in Fulton.

Felt great the entire run today, finished with a clocked time of 24:09 (my watch said 24:07 but there was a 1-2 second delay as I was a few rows back of the front row of runners). Knocked out the first mile in a cool 7:31, which was good. A slight hill in the first mile as it went up and away from the lake, and a water stop at the 2:30 mark that I ignored. Since this was a up and back race this stop was more strategically placed for the end-run.

Knocked out the second mile in exactly 8 minutes, so I was at 15:31 for 2 miles. This was after reaching the turnaround point and dousing a cup of water on my back. I realized that I had been coasting a bit at the 2 mile mark, so I turned it up, found a nice rhythm and some shade and upped it a bit. Got to the third mile at 23:17, so I was a 7:48 for the third mile. The race ended around the corner from the start and they threw one more big hill in at around the 2.8 mile mark, but I had enough juice to push up the hill. Didn't even try to drink the water, just dumped it on my back again at that point.

Finished 35th out of the first 135 runners to finish when they posted the times... and there were still people finishing when they posted it. I suspect they had over 150 finishers. The 24:09 time put me fourth overall in my M35-39 age group, which was won by a guy about 75 seconds ahead of me. UPDATE: Results updated, finished 34th out of 180 runners who finished and 3rd overall in my age group.

I think if I keep improving I could actually finish first in my age group in one of these smaller races, that has 100-200 entrants. And that would be a real coup! In the interim I was happy to be 69 seconds faster than my race time from two weeks ago. Next race isn't for another 5 weeks so I have time to work on it. God damn, it is fun to do these races I must admit. Way more fun than I thought it would be. Having success, finishing high in my age group, helps to make it more enjoyable. It's such a contrast to my horrific golf game, where I'm the worst golfer in my league.

UPDATE #2: Registered to run a 5k next weekend in Virginia while there visiting my cousin.

Five Fun Things To Do at a Urinal

1. Sidle up next to someone already using a urinal and start using the same urinal at the same time. But be nonchalant about the whole thing.

2. Work on your arc -- see how far you can stand from the urinal without making a mess on the floor.

3. Exclaim loudly to someone using the adjacent urinal about how much fun you're having.

4. Bring a toy sailboat and put it in your urinal, to leave it as a nice surprise for the next guy.

5. Tell your urinal neighbor about the time you met Bea Arthur at adjacent urinals.

Running Updates

Yesterday, I ran my fastest ever 5k. I felt great, the weather was warm and sunny, and I loosen up quick in those conditions. I ran hard right out of the gate and finished my first mile in just 7:25. I then eased up for the last two miles and ran closer to my normal 8 minute pace, and finished in under 24 minutes for the first time at 23:58.

It's hard to believe that seven months ago, when I started running, I labored on a treadmill to run 2.15 miles in 30 minutes, and I ached in fifteen different muscles the next morning. I am proud of my progress.

This upcoming Sunday I am running in a Father's Day 5k in Fulton, New York. It's in memoriam of a guy like me, who was 35 with two young kids before having a heart attack and dying. Sad story, and it makes me appreciative of my health and my family both.

Last year this race had about 140 participants. So this will be smaller than the 1200 runners I ran with 10 days ago in the Paige's Butterfly Run, but bigger than the 20 or so people I ran against last week in the 5k-that-wasn't.

I hope to get two more practice runs in this week, one tomorrow afternoon and one Friday afternoon. The goal, right now, is to continue to improve my finish times and maintain my health in the process.

Like Forrest Gump, I'm a Runnin Fool

Just home from my first ever competitive 5k, and I have to say that it was by far the most fun I ever had running. Without question.

I did everything my running friends all told me not to do, and common sense dictated, last night and this morning -- last night I had a big panini for dinner, and then gin drinks at home, and a big bowl of cereal and milk this morning. I figured I'd be best off keeping my normal Friday PM/Saturday morning AM routine intact. Got there ridiculously early -- about 50 minutes before race time, and just milled about. I was hoping to encounter someone I knew, but apparently most of my Syracuse friends are doughy fucks. I did knock back a cup of coffee.

Big crowd at this race, I saw registration numbers up into the 1300s. I fell into the starting group about 20 rows or so back from the start.

Got going into a nice pace about 15 seconds after crossing the starting line, felt awesome. Sweet running weather -- overcast, a light breeze. A little humid but nothing oppressive. Hit the first mile split at 7:55 net time (I used my own watch to track my time). Had a half a cup of water and nearly choked on it... I don't usually drink anything while running so I wasn't sure how to drink out of a cup and run at the same time.

Hit the second mile split at 16:05 net time, about what I've been doing in my practice runs.

Last water stop, just shy of mile 3, I took a few sips and dumped the rest on my back (I can't dump them on my head without getting a lot of water on my glasses). Third mile I hit at about 24:15. Again, not my best ever pace but the course was pretty hilly. A nice run, along the inner harbor of Syracuse. Lots of kids and adults cheering the runners on as the race went, which was cool.

In the home stretch I noticed a little girl, running at a good clip. I asked her how old she was. "Nine and a half." I told her she was awesome and I was going to try and keep up with her to the finish line. It didn't happen -- she dusted me in fact. Not only that but two guys caught me in the last 10 feet, even though I turned on the jets at the end.

Finished with a gun time of 25:37, net time 25:18. They posted the first 900 finishers (which only went up to about 33 minute times, so they had a LOT of runners out there). I was 252nd overall, and 17th in my M35-39 age bracket. One of the two guys who caught me was 16th in my age group. Drat.

Still, it was really fun to run with other people, in what is usually a very solitary thing for me. Even though I didn't know anyone out there today, I still felt a kinship with the other runners. And, of course, all of my online running buddies who were with me in spirit.

After I finished I knocked back a bottled water and watched other people finish for 10 minutes and then split after they posted the results.

I would do this again in A SECOND. Nice of my wife to take Nate to karate class this morning, and take Isabel along for the ride, so I could do this race. Need to figure out my next race to run.

T-2 Days Till Race Day!

After seven months of training for it, I am just 43 hours away from my first ever competitive 5k! My race begins Saturday morning at 9 AM. Today I'm going to be getting my final practice run in and picking up my race packet.

I'm a bit nervous... last year this event, the Paige's Butterfly Run, had nearly 800 participants. I usually run by myself and with headphones on, whereas this Saturday I'll be with hundreds of others and listening to myself huff and puff for a half hour.

Most of my practice 5k's the last month have timed at between 24 and 26 minutes, so I'm hopeful to finish somewhere in that range this weekend.

Feel free to come out this Saturday and cheer me on! I realize that few, if anyone, is actually reading this, but if you are, then come by. The wife will be taking my son to karate class with my daughter along for the ride, so a cheering section wouldn't be unwelcome.

Mayonnaise

As I'm cutting up some leftover barbecue chicken this morning, to make a righteous chicken salad sandwich to have for lunch, I got to thinking about mayonnaise.

In my younger, plumper days, back when I paid little heed to the nutritional content of my meals, I was a user of regular (or non-diet) everything. Coke Classic, the fattiest and tastiest cold cuts (salami), and regular mayonnaise. When I decided to try and slim down from my all time high of 202 lbs., back in 2002, I made a number of changes to my diet. One was to take up the use of diet alternatives to any product for which there was such a choice.

Diet sodas? Fine. Took a little adjustment but nothing taxing.

Lean turkey and roast beef sandwiches? Sure.

Mayo? Just another little change. Went from regular, to low fat, to Kraft Fat Free Mayo. The consistency is different but it still tastes like mayonnaise to me.

What's funny is that how some people are so emotionally attached to their regular mayonnaise. When someone asks me about it, and I mention that I use fat free mayo, I get one of two reactions.

1) Cool (they don't care, and why should they?)

2) Oh, I could never give up regular mayonnaise.

The second answer is amusing to me. Specifically, because anyone whom I've ever heard say that is obese. Only really overweight people maintain such a heartfelt love for their egg and oil based condiment.

I'll take the 152 lb. self and fat free altnernative, thanks.

Curse the Telemarketers

You know what really burns me? Dialing machines.

No, not hysterical ones, like the "auto-dialer" from that episode of the Simpsons. I'm talking about the machines that so many large organizations use to call lists of people.

I have a basic problem with this scenario: I answer the phone, and say "Hello" in a jocular fashion. As I am prone to do.

The response on the other side of the line? Nothing. You know why? Because a machine called me, and the person operating the machine has to then realize that a person is on the line, and at that time engage the caller in civil conversation.

That 3-4 second delay? I refuse to accept that. If you don't have the time to dial my number yourself, and be ready to speak to me when I answer, then I will not wait for you.



This also prevents me from having to say no to so many charitable organizations that are trying to squeeze $100 out of me.

This problem originates with my beautiful and kindhearted wife. She is physically unable to say no to a person calling our house soliciting funds. She just can't do it. And once you've said yes, even once, you enter a 2-3 year cycle of charity callers.

"So, can we put you down for a $50 donation to the local police auxiliary?"

"Uh, no, that's OK. I don't need a donation from you, thanks. Have a day."



Call me mean spirited, or callous. I can handle it.

Smart Kid, Part I

Someone told me once that I should be writing down all of the funny/clever/entertaining/poignant things my kids say. I'd like to think that I will remember the best of them, but, then again, I'm sure that many of them have already slipped by the wayside.

Tonight I was watching my two children play out in the backyard. It struck me, as it often does, how much bigger and older they are getting. I asked Nate how he had managed to get so old.

"Birthdays."

Smart kid!

The Worst Airline Passenger Ever

I travel pretty regularly for work -- about one trip a month. It's a fair amount of air travel, and time spent away from my family isn't ideal, but it makes for interesting work. I've been traveling all over the country since I started working as an Air Force contractor in 2003.

Most of the people that I sit next to on airplanes are unmemorable. Which is specifically what I look for on these trips. Generally speaking I am either reading a book or playing iPhone games. I don't want to have a lovely chat or get to know anyone on the plane. I'm just trying to get to work or get home.

But once in a while, I get stuck next to a beast. A Leviathan.

Traveling home Tuesday night on a late flight, the last leg. A connecting flight from Detroit to Syracuse. As I was flying after work I had decided to knock a few drinks back at the airport bar. That's what they have them open for, after all.

So, a very large, very old man, chewing a granola bar, plops his rotund self down next to me (I'm in the window seat and he the aisle). His arm and leg immediately spread out laterally into my little space. Now, I'm not a big fella, so this isn't entirely unexpected. But this guy was an amazing combination of annoying tics, weird fingernail funk and unpleasantness. He had a tendency to make little grunting sounds (not unlike the guy in "Sling Blade") every 2-3 seconds.

For the entire flight.

I put music on to drown this guy's little guttural charm out, which helped some.

He then felt a need to give the stewardesses grief for a late take off, when it was clearly due to a pair of passengers who had ran to catch this flight from some other connecting one.

I could not wait to get off the plane.

Sometimes I commend myself for showing the restraint to not tell this guy that he was like sitting next to a landfill poured into a golf shirt, or just elbowing him in his weird old face. Should it really be this hard for me to behave myself?

Run Rabbit Run

I've been training since last November to run a 5k race. I made a New Years' Resolution to run 10 of them in 2010, but that's not going to happen. Too many Saturday morning tee ball games and karate lessons that conflict with the local races. But I do intend on running 4-5 races this year. My first one is in three weeks, Saturday June 5th.

The first time I ran, in November, I ran 2.15 miles in 30 minutes on a treadmill. Average speed 4.3 MPH. I've gotten much speedier since then.

Today I set another personal best, running a 5k today in 25:44 at the local park by my house.

I busted it out of the gate as I was feeling good and it was such a warm sunny day, I was feeling very loose. Hit the 1 mile mark at 7:40, and 2.5 miles at 19:55, both well above my normal pace.

But I had gone too hard too soon and the heat caught up to me. I started to feel a little tight in my back and honestly, I was just gassed. Sweat pouring into my eyes also (I am going to buy a headband tomorrow). I actually stopped running and walked for about 75 seconds at that 2.5 mile mark, and then ran at a closer to my usual pace for the last part of the run. And even with the walking, I bested my previous personal best time by 13 seconds.

Dang

I spoke too soon. The sleep interruptions have returned, at least they have the last two nights.

There is a fairly good chance that after Isabel turns 3 she will have her tonsils and adenoids removed. We've already seen a pediatric ENT specialist on the matter. I'm not a fan of surgery, for my children, but I am a fan of not being a zombie for the next few years.

Irony of Ironies

It would figure that the same week I start a blog called "Sleepiest Dad Ever," my daughter would finally start sleeping properly.

We moved into our current house nearly two years ago, in June of 2008. At that time Isabel was sleeping soundly all night, in a bassinet in our bedroom, and just shy of one year old. One of the appeals of moving to our current house was that Isabel would get her own bedroom. Not long after we moved she began her waking up, nightly, crying for her mother and/or father.

That was 23 months ago.

While she has gone for a night here, two nights there, she has not slept through the night for 7 straight days since we've relocated.

This week she is on a five day sleeping streak. She seems to have finally turned a corner... she's more content to stay in her room without crying and everyone is getting a better night's rest as a result.

Yea for me! And Isabel -- her mood has greatly improved this week. But mostly, yea for me.

Justin Beaver

On the days when my wife is working the opening shift at the day care center she gets the kids up early, before 7 AM. Usually rousing them from a sound sleep. She dresses them and plops them down on the couch while she finishes getting everything ready to go.

Today my son, barely awake, is sitting in a big chair and watching the morning news while I put his shoes on. The news story was announcing the latest addition to the summer concert schedule at the New York State Fair (Aerosmith) and reading the list of other performers.

They must have mentioned Justin Bieber, though I was not listening. Nathan was. He exclaimed, loudly, "Justin Beaver?"

An Email from MamaTessie

My paternal grandmother, MamaTessie, passed away in December of 2007. She was a smart and strong minded person and I like to believe that I inherited some of my better traits directly from her.

One of the real regrets I have in life is that I did not get to introduce her to her youngest great-granddaughter, my Isabel. She was born in the summer of 2007 and too young for us to make the drive down to New York where MamaTessie lived. My grandmother then moved to Maryland just weeks before she passed away, and that further complicated the visits. We had planned on driving down for Passover at my aunt's house, also in Maryland, the following spring, and seeing her then. But by then she was gone.

So she never got to meet Isabel, who was named after her late husband Isadore (my PapaIzzy).

Shortly before she passed away my grandmother, 87 years of age, sent me an email. From her very own brand new gmail account, mamatessie@gmail.com. It was not a long text but it was sweet. She had seen recent pictures of Nathan and Isabel and video of my two year old son singing the ABCs. It pleased her to know how well he had learned his alphabet. She asked for the web site addresses where I posted the kids' pictures so that she could go to those pages at her new assisted living facility. I enthusiastically emailed her back and gave her the latest news as well as those addresses.

I did not save the email she had sent me. For whatever reason. Oh, how I wished I had.

I've spent the better part of the last two years trying to recall what was in that note. Then it occurred to me that her Gmail account was likely still intact, and that if I could guess her password then I could go in and see the email she had sent me.

My first guess, PapaIzzy, was not it. My second guess, an amalgam of my father's name and his brother's name that their cleaning lady used to refer to both of them by as children in the 1950s, was correct. I was able to go in and read the email again and forward myself another copy of it.

This one I will be saving.

Getting Hit on the Head with a Rock

Sometimes you try to tell a two year old something and they listen. Other times, not so much.

So the kids and I are playing in the backyard and my daughter rounds the corner holding a rock. It fills the palm of her hand, probably weighs about a half pound.

My parental reaction kicks in, Pavlovian-style. "You shouldn't play with that, honey. You might hurt yourself. Why don't you go put the rock back where you found it?"

My child, the angel that she is, takes this advice to heart. Considers it for a nanosecond. Then she throws the rock as high as she can directly above her head. It hovers eight inches over her head like a cartoon character on the precipice of a cliff. Then it drops, surreptitiously, directly onto the top of her skull. Commence crying for mommy, an ice pack, and general relief.

Sometimes these things happen and I listen for the laugh track, that must be playing for some sitcom audience somewhere watching this comedy.

A Decent Night's Rest, For Once

Last night my beautiful two year old daughter Isabel played her trickiest card yet.

She slept through the night.

She did make a little bit of noise at about 4:30 AM but settled herself down without intervention from her parents.

Now, while this may be a normal occurrence for those of you living a normal life, with normal kids in normal sleeping routines (if there are such people), in our house this is akin to winning $1000 in a scratch off lottery ticket. It's an unbelievable stroke of luck.

And I'm milking it for all it's worth. I woke up today feeling like I had already drank 4 cups of coffee.

If she can make a routine out of this, well, now, that'd be something.

Grover Is Messing With Me

We have a lot of kids books at our house, no surprise there. But these books are messing with me.

So, book A is called "I Have To Go." One of a myriad of books about using the potty that we have at the house (I didn't buy them; my wife did. I believe our kids should be free ranging in the yard until they figure this out.)

In "I Have To Go," the protagonist is "Little Grover." Cute Little Grover is wearing overalls and can't stop to play with Little Bert and Ernie, or Little Cookie Monster, or Little Varmit #3 etc., because he "has to go." That is to say, he has to go potty. His mom, not an attractive woman by the way, helps him out of his overalls and he goes on the potty! Sweet.

But his mom never wipes his blue butt. You'd think wiping would be important with all that fur, but whatever. Grover's mama helps him out of his overalls and then helps him fasten his straps when he's done. And shit stained, apparently.

But this isn't the most perplexing part. That's in the second book, "Grover's Guide to Good Manners." This stars the adult Grover facing different situations where he'd have to say please, thank you, excuse me, and so on. And on one page Grover is nice enough to offer his seat to a lady on a crowded bus.

Everyone on the bus is wearing clothes. Except Grover, who is naked. Polite enough to give up his seat, or maybe just wanting to air out his nether-region.

WHAT THE FUCK?

So, what I'm wondering is this:

1. At what age does Grover get to shed the little kid overalls and go au natural on the municipal bus line?

2. Is there a lot of crap stuck to his blue fur from a lack of mom-wiping? Does this irk the other bus passengers?

WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME WITH YOUR INCONSISTENCIES GROVER?